Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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