im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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