Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
They have beer where we have blood.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
