Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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