And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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