I only kidnapped one of them. chill
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
