It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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