Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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