Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
this just has baby written all over it
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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