we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
