I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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