and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
