whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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