he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
