Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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