Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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