my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
