the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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