Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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