There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
