Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
