At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
