so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I could fuck to npr.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
