You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
