i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
