my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
