uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
