That's intense
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
two words: eviction party
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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