Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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