We're like a lot better than the average bears
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
