Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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