There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
