Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
