everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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