sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
