uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
