Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
