turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
