I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
