I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
