I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
