Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
