Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize