she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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