it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
