Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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