I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
