i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
