I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize