I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
