I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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