I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
