I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Randomize
