I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
