Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
