dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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